you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
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