i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
