This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
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