nut hugger
I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
Randomize
