If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
