You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
