Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Randomize
