Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
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