So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
Randomize