loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
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Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
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Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
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