I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
Randomize
