Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
