what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
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