she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
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