I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
Randomize
