Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
Basic items
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
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