I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
Randomize
