Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
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