WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
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Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
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