I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
she smelled like a LAN party
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
Randomize
