when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
Randomize
