dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
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