do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Randomize
