Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
Randomize
