what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize