I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦ðŸ¼â€â™€ï¸
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
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