Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
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