u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
This house was built for laser tag.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
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