party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
You ruined the universe
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
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