The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
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To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
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A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
Just pee around me
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
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