I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
Randomize
