we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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