OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
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