i already hear my dad disowning me
I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Randomize
