I woke up this morning to the buzzer on my oven going off... I cooked fish sticks at 425 degrees for 5 hours last night. my house smells awesome
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Randomize
