For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
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