So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
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Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
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It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
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