Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
you told grandpa to call you daddy
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
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