Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
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