it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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