He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
Randomize
