About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
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