i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
Randomize
