Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
We're facebook friends in real life
Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
Randomize
