hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
Randomize
