this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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