ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize
