Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
It's never too late to be topless.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
Randomize
