I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
Randomize
