his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
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