guys are not supposed to queef...right?
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
Randomize
