I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
Randomize