Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
Man, jail baloney is awful.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
you inspire me to be a worse person
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
Randomize
