I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
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