How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Randomize
