Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
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