The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
Princesses don't give blow jobs
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
Randomize
