I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
Randomize
