Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
Randomize
