i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
Randomize
