I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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