dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
Randomize
