I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
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